readalot413:

liverpate:

azraeldoesnotdispute:

liverpate:

why am i not a banana

Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50 - 60% of your DNA with a banana.

thanks man

are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people

(via nohetero)

jakefromsteakfarm:

Anywhere you go in Florida there’s always a shirtless man riding a bicycle

(via maid-of-bl00d)

northlan-e:

its gotten to the point where i either feel no emotion or every emotion at once

(via timetellsitall)

do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how

(Source: mcclairstonem, via timetellsitall)

tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole